Is it all in my head?

With the marathon just 6 weeks away I'm struggling with training. The furthest I've run so far is 13.5 miles, half way basically. That was the run where my knee pain came back. Since then I've been stretching, foam rollering, icing and gotten new trainers.

I haven't been out for a "long" run since, I've blamed it on working nights, but really it's because I'm scared of the pain. I've been out for a few shorter runs around 7 miles and the knee has been OK, not much niggling and certainly no tear worthy pain.

My heads in a mental battle with myself now though, it's telling me I can't do this, and it's impacting my training, getting out for a run is becoming a battle, and like this morning involving tears. My plan said 12 miles, I knew I could do it & mentally I wanted 15 - perfectly doable. I need to cross the mental block of being over half way.

Today's running conditions weren't perfect - cold, rainy and windy. And I decided to do my usual route backwards- rookie mistake. Someone said to me on twitter that there would be hills in places that I didn't realise and I said no because there was only one big hill and the rest was relatively flat. Oh how wrong I was!! 1 mile in and there was a constant hill for the next 4! Nevertheless I pushed through, although my head wasn't in it and the time on my Garmin wasn't great I just wanted the miles in the legs. With only 6 weeks to go I'm scared.

Around mile 4 my knee started to niggle, I stopped stretched it and carried on, I still had lots of miles to do. I then got to the section of my run (at the top of a hill) that is completely open, and the wind and rain just hit me. And whether its because I'm extremely emotional today or what I cried. I ran till 5 the pain in my knee was getting worse, was it getting worse because there is actually pain there or was it getting worse because I was telling myself I can't run and by having pain its an excuse to stop? At 6 miles I phoned my boyfriend to come and get me.

In my head I've failed at today's run, and I'm having to many runs like that at the moment. I'm petrified that I'm going to fail at the marathon, whether I'm putting to much pressure on myself for a good time or what I don't know. But it's really becoming a mental game; one that I' currently loosing. In my head I'm still the 17st girl who can't run..

I'm home stretched and iced my knee which is feeling better, I just need it to hold out for 6 more weeks. And now it's feeling OK it's making me think that all the pain is psychological?

Do you have any tips/advice for the mental challenge of running a marathon?

xx

Frank

Whilst working nights last week, I didn't really manage the whole "sleep"thing, so would spend the day very unproductively on pinterest, twitter and Facebook; as you do!

As I was trawling through my news feed a number of people had tweeted about Frank Bars, so I thought I'd try my luck and tweet them to as for some to review. And hey presto a package turned up in my post box a few days later. (Another thing about night; or just in general - getting post makes my day!)

If you don't know about Frank Bars they are snack bars with 100% natural ingredients.

They'd kindly sent me all 5 flavors to try - strawberry & chocolate, orange & chocolate, blueberry & chocolate, oats & chocolate and double chocolate.

Being the fatty that I am I instantly wanted to try the orange and chocolate one hoping it would resemble the delicious flavors of good old Terry's chocolate orange. So I packed it in my lunch bag for work.

At 2 am in the morning with a cup of coffee it was delicious and certainly tasted pretty close to a chocolate orange but a whole lot healthier!

Throughout the week at varies times of the day and night I worked my way through all 5 flavors, especially throughout the night they kept me going, and especially after a run they were just what I needed to instantly refuel as I often find myself shoveling down a mars bar these are a perfect replacement and will defiantly be featuring more in my diet.

The oats and chocolate bar I broke up into a muller light yogurt as a quick and filling breakfast and it hit the spot! So delicious and easy to whip up if your in a rush.

They were perfect to cure that awful sugar craving without the guilt attached to feeding yourself chocolate. My favorite flavour was definatley the blueberry and chocolate, which is quite surprising as I'm not normally a fan of fruit based bars but it was the right amount of fruit versus chocolate.

You can buy them online which I think will have to be my option as there aren't many stockist here in the South West but if you head over to their website they have a list of all their stockists across the country.

Thanks Frank for the bars to review!
xx