This might sound strange considering 4 months ago I ran a marathon, but being brutally honest I can probably count on 1 hand how many times I've run since then.
Marathon training got so intense I stopped loving running and started loathing it. I hated having to drag myself out of bed for those long, or even short runs. I was probably in the depths of depression whilst training but I was still putting on a brave face as if everything was ok. But that front got me across the finish line & that's what matters!
I needed to fall in love with running again, I wanted to run because I chose to run, not because I had to run. This time off work at the moment has made me spend time on myself, getting myself better. My daily walks I've been doing, which most of them are around the harbour where I live which is where I used to run, they've made me want to run again. I knew I couldn't push myself I had to wait for when I was ready.
That day was yesterday I laced up my trainers, then sat in them for 40 minutes telling myself this was a bad idea, that I can't run because it's been so long, that I'm not as good as I used to be. Part of that as true - yes I'm not up to marathon standard but that's what you get for not running for 4 months, but it wasn't a bad idea - getting out there was going to help me build up to that standard again.
So after a few tweets I got out the door, iPod on, garmin on. And I ran, slowly yes but I ran. I had to stop a few times but I knew that was inevitable, but I knew I needed to focus on my breathing as that would make running a lot easier! I've missed the running spirit and community, out on my run I forgot how satisfying and warming it is to have other runners nod and wave at you.
It was a long and hot 2.4 miles but I did it. And I am so proud of myself. I ran because I chose to run, because I wanted to make myself a better runner, to get fitter and to help my mood. And I will slowly build myself back up to the standard I was at before. Like the saying goes....Rome wasn't built in a day.