Finding my running mojo!

Running was something I started on my weight loss journey to help me lose weight, I began to love it and started completing races. Marathon training changed that for me, I'm not saying that you can't train for a marathon and not enjoy it but I started to hate running. I've learnt that this is most likely because I was in the depths of depression as well and wasn't getting help for it. 

Since April 13th - marathon day. I can count on one hand how many times I have run. And even then I've run because I had to, because I didn't want to let people down, because I'd run a marathon I was expected to run. I even had a half marathon entry for my birthday - something I asked for in the hope it would push me to start running again. 

Last night I had that moment, you know like a lightbulb moment. I remembered all the times I'd run, how good it made it feel, the sense of achievement, the feeling it gives you, the time it gives you to yourself. So I decided I was going to lace up my trainers and run. 

This morning I downloaded the C25K app. I thought it would be a good place to start, I know I'm not at marathon level and I'm my head I can't run a mile. So I set off with my brisk 5 minute walm up, something I never usually do on a run but I felt it was good - it gets you in the right frame of mind for a run. 

Then the running and walking intervals began, honestly - I found it easy. I ended up running when I should have been walking and vice versa as it meant I was running for slightly longer. I wasn't out of breathe when I finished, my legs didn't ache. But I had a sense of achievement - I'd run, I'd run because I wanted to, because I wanted the me time, because I chose to run. 

So although I won't be using the app again it has given me the confidence that I'm not as rubbish as I thought I was, that I can still run. 

However, with the half marathon I have a place in being 4 weeks today I am in 2 minds whether to defer. I know physically I should because just because I ran 2 miles easily today - 13 is a whole different ball game but in my heart I don't want to because it's like I'd have failed. The verdict for today is out on this one but I  will be sensible in my decision.