That little voice in our heads

Why is it that the little voice in our heads is so capable of talking us out of things?

For me it's running. I don't see myself as a runner, I still think I'm the fat girl who can't run. I mean I'm running 20+ miles a week, training for a marathon but I still think somewhere along the line I'm going to stumble and fail.

Our ability to lose so much weight and persevere with the plan is all with the power in our heads, so how come when we need it it works against us? We are constantly comparing ourselves to others; the people we run past, the person on the treadmill next to us, our partners, our friends, celebrities, the list goes on.

And the only person we should compare ourselves to is the person we were yesterday. It sounds cliche but it's true, if we take one day at a time then the likelihood of succeeding is far greater than wanting to look like someone else.
.
Perhaps my lack on confidence in ability to run at the moment is linked to the fact that the scales are not moving, not even half a lb. I'm just sat nicely on 12st 10lbs. Ew. I'm following Filling & Healthy with my 49 propoints. This week I've weighed everything as too as an extra measure, but I don't know how else I can get the scales moving.
I had to contraceptive injection a week ago so maybe it's linked to that?
If you have any tips that would be great as I need a boost!

Lots of love

xx

Hello 2014

So it appears I've been AWOL since the end of August. I know you must all have missed me terribly, I'm just telling myself that; you probably hadn't even noticed I'd gone. 

So whats been happening?

2013 certainly had some amazing times, but also some pretty low ones that taught me how to be strong. 

January - was a pretty quiet month, I entered the Cardiff Half Marathon, which I later unfortunately due to illness had to pull out of.
February - I got a ballot place in The Great North Run!

March - I ran my 2nd half marathon, Bath. With a time of 2:10:22!
I also hit the 6 stone mark with weight watchers! 

April - I got featured in a magazine for my weight loss

May - Got a PB in Bristol 10k
Me & Jon finally got together

June - Pretty much a month of birthday celebrations along with one of my best friends coming hoe from 6 months travelling.
I ran my first off road 10k

July - Got a promotion at work
Joined ...and left slimming world. I will always be a weight watchers girl.
August - I moved out from living with one of my best friends to move home for a few months
September - What a busy month...I ran The Great North Run
I got a place in The London Marathon running for The Meningitis Research Foundation.
I was in hospital for almost 2 weeks. 

October - Got a move of stores with my job
November - Me & Jon moved in together
December - Christmas, Christmas & more Christmas

So far January 2014 has consisted of 10 days off work, lots of running & fundraising planning. I've rejoined weight watchers online, as finding a meeting that fits in with retail shifts is pretty much impossible. Really enjoying simple start so far, with my first weeks weigh in on Wednesday. I will be sure to keep you updated.

In terms of weight, I'm sadly not at the 6 stone mark I was at back in March - That's what falling in love does to you! I'm currently weighing in at 12st 10lbs - 2 stone 5lbs more than I was. But back on a mission, with my very supportive other half to get back there and get to goal. But not with a few hurdles along the way....more of that in a future post. 

Lots of love

xxx

I'm struggling.

Those two words are the hardest to admit; apart from "I'm wrong". But you know what there is no way to hide it any more but I'm struggling.
Out on my run today I was thinking, a lot, and I actually cried whilst running which is a little sad in itself!
I came up with the following things:

Why do I want to lose weight?
- too feel better about myself
- to be healthy
- to look in the mirror and like what I see
- to be a stronger runner

Benefits I've had of loosing weight
- I began to love myself
-I started to like what I saw in the mirror
- I actually started to enjoy exercise
-I made people proud

Why am I struggling?
- I feel like a failure after putting on 1 stone
- I'm living between my parents & my boyfriends & not having my own place is taking it's toll on me
- Being stressed in other aspects of my life makes me comfort eat
-I feel like I've gone backwards with my running
-I'm happy in my relationship

Why I run?
-"Me time"
- Something to focus on & work towards
- Inspires people

How far have I come?
- 16st 12.5lbs down to 11st 6lbs
-2 x half marathons
-I've been in a blinking magazine

What do I need to do?
-Appreciate the support I have around me, each & everyone of you is amazing
-Take 1 day at a time
-Run 3 times a week; even if it's only a couple of miles
-Learn to love myself again


At my lowest weight I was 10t 6lbs. 6lbs away from my goal weight, and one day I will get there. Just maybe not as soon as I was hoping for initially But what I realised is how happy I was when I lost that weight, I started to enjoy what I was wearing, and looking in the mirror at what I saw. At the moment I hate it and I'm quite glad my boyfriend doesn't own a full length mirror at his place because it means I don't have to purposely avoid it.

I just want you all to know we all struggle from time to time, we all have fall backs, but admitting you have and admitting you need support is the first step forward.

So here's my first step!

xxxxx

Stuck in a rut.

So I haven't blogged in months, and to be completely honest I haven't been losing weight with. I anything I've put it on. At one point I was within 5lbs of goal. Now I'm about a stone that's a massive 14lbs above goal. I feel as if I'm about 60lbs from goal- bloated, fat and hate looking in the mirror at myself.

Which is weird as every aspect of my life s going really well - I've just got a promotion at work, my relationship with my boyfriend makes me happier than I have been in months, and makes me wonder why I put up barriers for so long.

So why do I hate looking in the mirror? One theory is that my weight gain and struggle to get the weight off again is because I've had the implant fitted and one of the side effects is weight gain. Have you ever had an issue with this?
The other theory is that life is getting in the way, I shouldn't use this as an excuse. My boyfriend is completely supportive of weight watchers, I have a gym membership, I work shifts so can exercise. Which means its me being lazy. Which is probably the case. When I first started weight watchers I had the drive and enthusiasm to lose it, I still have that niggling in the back of my head, somewhere. But I never imagined that I'd be in the 10stone range, wearing size 10-12's. I sometimes think I'm comfortable here, knowing I've still got a bit to lose but I'm not unhealthy. Because getting to goal scares the sh*t out of me. I've worked for 3+ years to get there, what do I do when I get there?

I guess I need a kick up the ass, someone to relight my ignition, for my enthusiasm to return. It's not like I don't want to lose this last stone, it's on my mind every single day. I don't want to let people who have supported me down, and I don't want to let myself down.

Do you have any tips for kicking yourself up the bum to getting back on track?

Ideally I'd love to go back to meetings, but with shifts at work that's not the right option for me right now, which means online is the way forward. Unless I consider a different plan?
Apologies that this post is a bit long winded and not very structured I just needed to get this off my chest. Admit that I'm struggling to shift this weight and that help would be greatly appreciated.







Lots of love xx

A picture speaks a thousand words

Three years ago to this very day I walked into my weight watchers meeting. Stepping on those scales at 16st 12.5 was absolutely mortifying.
I was 18, a first year university student and should have been having the time of my life, don't get me wrong I was, but my weight was holding my back.

3 years on I weight 10st 10lbs, have a heaps more confidence and I'm learning to love who I am.

These three years have taught me it's not all about the number on the scale, it's about the psychological aspect, getting fit, changing your life style habits, surrounding yourself with amazing friends and family.

It hasn't been easy, if I said it had I'd be lying. There's been times I've wanted to throw in the towel, not track my food and just wish I was naturally healthy. But we all know if you want something you've got to work for it. And it's times like these where my fabulous friends and family have been there to remind me just how far I've come. Plus I'm to stubborn to give up! So a massive thank you to everyone, you really are amazing to me and don't know how much I appreciate your support <3 p="">
I think it's safe to say I'm a completely different person to who walked into that school hall 3 years ago.  One of the main things I'm coming to terms with if loving my body, I've worked damn hard for this and yes so I may have loose skin but I can change that. Yes I may have stretch marks, but there a part of who I was, they remind me of where I've come from & where I'm never, ever going back to.

                                                         (cannot believe I've just posted this online: but love your body. You earnt it!)

 I can't believe these photo's are the same person.

 It's hard and it's a struggle, but it's worth it. And to anyone out there who's embarking on their own weight loss journey. Remember to do it for you because you deserve it & you are worth it.

Love as always
xxxx

Life's to short to spend another day at war with yourself.

I haven't blogged in a while, and maybe that's directly related to the fact I haven't lost any weight lately either. I haven't put any on either which must be a good thing. But I just feel like a totally crappy weight watcher sometimes.

This all came to a head yesterday, and thanks to my wonderful friends, family and twitter followers I am now back focused, somewhat a little more proud of where I've come from and ready to face the week and get closer to goal. Again.

Next week, 17th May, will mark my 3 year anniversary with Weight Watchers. I can't believe it's almost 3 years ago I walked into that school hall and stepped on the scales for the very first time. I could not imagine how much my life has changed since that day. I remember it like it was yesterday, walking into my flat mates room and telling her I would be home late from work because I was joining weight watchers, no explanation, probably because I was shitting it about telling people. But I got back and all of my friends were amazingly supportive.

Since then I've lost 6 stone 1 lbs. But the number on the scales isn't everything. And this is something I struggle getting my head around, and I'm sure a lot of you can relate to. When we start this journey along with getting healthy, and losing weight the main aim is to see that goal number on the scales. And for most of the journey that is what we work for. That number.

Along the way, we realise that, that isn't the end moment, we need to enjoy the journey along the way, appreciate what we have achieved, and continue to achieve before we see that number on the scale.

There may be moments where you just want to give up, and to be honest I think the closer to goal I get the more often they become. I sometimes think getting to goal is a just a dream; but one day ; it will happen.

I'm 11 lbs from goal, and it may take me another 6 months or so to get there but the things I have achieved in the last 3 years out weigh the length of time it's taken me to get there.

I've gone from a size 22 to a size 10-12
I've run 2 half marathons, the 2nd one knocking 9 minutes off my first time
I've run a sub 1 hour 10K
I've been featured in a magazine for my
weight loss
I've been posted on the Weight Watchers Facebook page getting over 1800 likes
I've met some wonderful people I'm proud to call my friends along the way thanks to twitter & Facebook
I've graduated from university
I've applied to run a marathon in 2014

And the happiness of these achievements sure as hell outweighs the fact that the scales don't read my goal weight. But they sure as hell don't read 16st 12.5 which they did 3 years ago.

I've changed so much as a person not only physically, I like to think I've grown up (sometimes) become more aware of others and who I am.

A good friend said to me yesterday " One day at a time, but not necessarily every day in a row" And it could  not be more true. We are all human, we are all going to slip up, life gets in the way, but getting back up and trying again is what makes us strong. It's also so easy to focus on the negative stuff (another friend pointed this out to me) and sometimes we need to stop, and take account of what we've actually achieved.

The fact that people see me as an inspiration is amazing, and I will continue on this journey, not only for myself, but to continue inspiring those around me.

The support from everyone that I get is incredible, and I cannot thank you enough. You probably don't realise just how much it means.

Lots of love
xxxx

The big 6.

Some people ask me how long have I been doing Weight Watchers and I often get embarrased that it's taken me almost 3 years to get where I am. You read stories about how people loose 7 stone in a year. And yet here I am almost 3 years down the line. But I've realised lately that this is your own journey, we all have our own hiccups, challenges in life and difficulties to over come. So does it really matter that it's taken me this long? No. I've still lost the weight, and this way I know it won't be coming back. At least with plateaus lasting 6 months I know I can maintain ;)

And this week I lost 3lbs. Meaning I've finally hit the big 6 stone mark! This has been a long time coming, I've been teetering on the edge of it for about 8 months. But plateaus make this journey what it is. You just have to remember when it gets tough why you are doing it. For the first time ever I cried on the scales yesterday. I was so proud of myself.



I'd just like to save a massive thank you to you all for your comments on Facebook, Twitter, Instgram etc. They really do put a smile on my face and keep me going. One of the best things about this weight loss journey is inspiring and motivating others.

One of my friends from twitter, Paul has recently started Filling and Healthy days. It's something I've been thinking about for a while, and he seems to be getting on great with it. I'm still a bit dubious though; do I have the willpower to stop eating when I'm full? do I have the ability not to count?

I'm quite anal and actually enjoy tracking and counting my points, but can I do this forever? Is it realistic when I get to goal and maintaining my weight to still write down everything that passes my lips? I really don't know.

Do you have any tips or ideas about Filling & Healthy days with Weight Watchers? I'd greatly appreciate them :)

Here's a quick before & current photo for you. 85lbs down :)




Lots of love
Elle:)
xxx