I haven't felt like myself lately, I don't know why, so OK it's chocolate week but that doesn't normally make me feel like this, I just "can't be bothered" with anything. It sounds like I'm just being lazy but I can't be bothered with uni, with my friends or with WW, and the frustrating thing is I want to. Life is pretty good for me right now, and yet I'm not grateful for what I have. I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just needed to put it into words rather than going over it in my head.


On the plus side. I lost 1.5lbs this week in WW, and considering I didn't stop eating rubbish for the whole week that's pretty impressive! But the thing is, I've lost 2 stone, and I'm 2 dress sizes smaller yet I don't feel any different. Don't get me wrong I feel happier and I obviously must look different because clothes that used to never fit me now do, but I still think I look like that person who was 2 stone heavier... I think I'm just having a down week, and hoping I'll be back to normal next week and loving life again.




:( 


A Cwtch would be lush right now
xxx

A day without laughter is a day wasted<3

Home Time

Why is it impossible to stay on track at home? Home cooked food... nice things in the cupboard...and absolutely no will power. With a gain last week I really didn't need the temptations of home to take me in, and they did, I had the full intentions of being really good whilst at home, but I crumbled, and so did the cookies into my mouth! I know how easy it is to slip into bad habits, yet I can't say no. It actually scares me that I'll be at home for over 2 weeks at Christmas, which will be hard enough in it's self as it's Christmas, let alone with all the temptations and my lack of will power.

It seems as the minute I'm having 2 weeks on track with good losses, then a week or 2 off track, I want to be on track 100% of the time. I mean if I want to be at goal, or near enough at goal by the time I go to America(hopefully!) in June, then I need to get my arse into gear! 

My exercise routine hasn't been great the last few weeks either, I really do enjoy walking to Uni but the last 2 weeks I haven't and make up stupid excuses, I mean it saves me money, and I need to save every penny at the moment, and it's a nice stroll with the girls. I also haven't been going to the gym as much as I should, and considering I forked out for gym membership I want to get my moneys worth!

I don't even know where I'm going with this post, today I've been "evaluating my life" part of procrastination to not do any work, but it involved a clear out of facebook friends & photos. In a bid to delete certain people and memories from my life. I think that is why I like being in Uni so much, there's not many people from home there and that means there's not all the shit there as well! 

So this is just a major ramble about how my life isn't really on track right now.... hopefully it will be soon!

xxx

A day without laughter is a day wasted <3

I did it!!

Yup, my 10k Run I actually did it, and it didn't kill me. I finished with a pretty respectable time of 1 hour and 20 minutes which I am super happy with!

The photos: the one at the top was of me yesterday and the one at the bottom was me in London just over a year ago, and I am now 2st lighter, so I just thought I'd share with you all the change!

I'm a bit scared of WI tonight after the amount of rubbish I've eaten all week, but hopefully the run and walking around London will help me with a STS! I shall keep you all updated:)

For now, I am staying in bed, as I can't actually move I'm aching so much, but have just found out I have to go into uni later:( only for an hour so I suppose it's not that bad!

xxxxxx

In Limbo

This week has been a funny week, I've wanted to stay on track but yet I haven't, I don't think there's been one day where I've tracked religiously and I know it'll come back to bite me on the ass in WI on Monday. It doesn't help that I'm doing my 10k run on Sunday, so I've done a bit of training this week, but have said to myself I'll "take it easy" maybe I've taken it a bit TOO easy:/....

I went out for dinner with my parents last night, chips or salad. I chose chips, why it would have been just as easy to choose salad, it's not as though I don't like it. I do. This morning, a cup of tea... with biscuits, I didn't need the biscuits...or the cookie in the car on the way home! And now I've just bought a bag of eclairs and wine gums for the bus down to London...admittedly to share but still. WHY IS IT SO EASY TO SLIP BACK INTO OLD HABITS? I wish there was a button you could press that would turn off the cravings for all the rubbish food... the food that is going to put the 2 stone back on....

I should be feeling amazing, I went shopping today, and everything I bought was 2 sizes smaller than I was when I started; yet why am I feeling like it would be easier if Weight Watchers wasn't in my life?

This blog is just a ramble, I feel like I needed to get these feelings out there. The weekend in London will be hard food wise, I'll TRY and make wise decisions and hopefully once I finish the run I'll be motivated to get back on track.... I hope so any way. I do love Weight Watchers... just sometimes I think it would be easier without it, although I know I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. Argh. I don't know

x

Why do I care so much...

How can you care so much about one person when they probably don't even realise how you feel and never will because you haven't got the balls to tell them? It sucks. Why do I care so much about you, you probably just see me as a friend, and nothing more, but yet here I am still thinking about you? If only I could have a couple of bottles of vodka to tell you....

Ok so you get the point, there's one person that I like, A LOT, and have done for a while, yet I don't have the confidence to tell them. Grr. I don't do guys, I honestly don't think I have the capability to hold down a relationship, not that I've had the chance in a while! But yet I'm so caught up on him and wish I wasn't. :( I'm so jealous of people in long term relationships, just knowing you've always got that person that is always there. Don't get me wrong I love my friends to bits and know they are always there, but it's different.

On another note, MY FEET HURT. Never walk 6 and a half miles in sandals. It is definately not a good idea, I know have a MASSIVE blister on my foot and I can't walk, so I'm just going to moan and get as much sympathy as I can ;)

WI tonight, I'm hoping for a good loss, as I've earned a lot of BP's this week and have stuck within my points. We'll just have to wait and see....

I'm off to carry on lying on my bed moaning about my feet!

xx