Last week at weigh in I stayed the same, tomorrow I am fully expecting a gain - but you know what - I've had a damn good couple of days and I'm back on track already.
With recent events in my life (I can't go into too much detail on here, as with the wonders of the internet you don't always know who is reading; and quite frankly I don't want to get beaten up!) it has made me think a lot; about who am; what I'm doing with my life; my weight loss; my exercise; everything you name it I've had far too many deep thoughts about it lately.
As you all know I've been really struggling with my exercise lately. And thanks to the wonderful Lauren over at A little less of Lauren who wrote the brave post Love the skin you're in I went back to the gym. For those of you who haven't read Lauren's blog; you need to! Reading this post it was like I was reading about myself, knowing that I'm not the only on who has the crazy thoughts about how I look & how others see myself but it was also the kick up the ass I needed. Lauren has lost over 100lbs through hard work & dedication. And in order for me to get to goal I needed to get off my ass and back in the gym! So that is exactly what I did. I'm still not comfortable looking in the mirror and I take my hat off to Lauren for posting those photos -you are an inspiration my lovely- but after reading that post I know I will in time become more comfortable and proud of what I have achieved.
"The problem is we focus too much on how far we have to go rather than how far we have come"
This quote could not be truer for me right now.
And you know what? Going back to the gym - it really wasn't as terrifying as I imagined. Ok so the 5k run almost killed me; but I've run a half marathon; I know I can do it. I just need to build myself back up and I will get there.But I am proud of myself for breaking that barrier and going back. Not only is it helping me in terms of my weight loss but exercise is such a good de-stresser and gives me time to focus on myself. As selfish as that sounds; sometimes some "me time" is just what you need.
When I first started losing weight I honestly thought there would be an end date; I always imagined it would be the day I got to goal. The more I lose weight and discover more about myself and get closer to goal; I realise that there is no end date but a journey which allows us to change physically, mentally & emotionally; and all for the better. I can honestly say I'm a better person than I was before and can only hope that I continue to get better; as well as more comfortable with myself.
Love as always