I'm back!!!!

It clicked this morning; what ever that thing is in your head that tells you it's time.
I got up and stood on the scales as was slightly horrified. I weighed in at 11st 10lbs.

I've re subscribed to Weight Watchers online, I can't get to a regular meeting with my shifts at work & online works. I know weight watchers works; and to be honest don't know why I left in the first place.

I am SO excited about reading about the new 360 approach and getting back into the swing of things. I know the first couple of days are going to be the toughest for me but I can do it!!

I'm going to be tweeting what I eat as well as another way of keeping my eye on it. So feel free to go over and follow me at ElinorGM.

This was breakfast this morning:
5 Propoints of yumminess!




A big thank you for all your encouraging words and support lately!

Much love
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Losing weight isn't just a physical thing.

I'm going to be completely honest with you guys, I haven't stepped on the scales since the 1st January; not because I know it's going to be bad - I sort of know by the way I feel I'm around the 11st 4lbs I was then - my clothes arn't too tight and I don't feel "heavy". But I became so obsessive over losing weight; this last stone - which has been the last stone for about 5 months has been the hardest of them all. It got to the stage where everything I'd eat....even fruit & veg and all that goodness I'd be worrying.

I needed to take time out from it all; this coincided with my head not being in the right place either. Losing weight is not simply about the number on the scale; or your clothes size decreasing - it is such a psychological thing. I'm not sure whether it's because I'm slowly learning to like my body - the body that I have created - or whether I'm more aware of it now than when I was almost 17 st but I think about it all the time; and it seems like it gets me down way more than the old body did. I know it shouldn't but when I look in the mirror I don't see a size 12 person; I see the size 22 old me; and this seems to be getting worse the closer to goal I get. I mean yes I've lost 84 lbs and I know we'll always have flaws but the worse thing that gets me down is the lose skin. This is getting better thanks to my Jillian Michaels workouts; and I know it won't happen over night, and it takes time to get better, but the thought of anyone else seeing me like this scares me.

I mean I used to look at my friends who have always been slim thinking that a size 12 was tiny; and impossible to achieve, I never thought I'd see the day where my wardrobe would consist of size 10-12's and I could borrow my friends clothes. And I still don't believe that I'm an actual size 12.

Today for example I wore some uniform to work - it was a size 18 and literally like a dress on me. Why do I even still have this in my wardrobe? It is somewhere I don't want to go back to.

This is turning into me just waffling on. Any way what I'm trying to say is taking this 3 weeks out; I haven't binged or anything - I've been making wise choices, and exercising. But I'm trying to not to focus on the scale. I've decided come 1st Feb I will weigh and take my measurements, and hopefully by then I will be back in the right mindset to start tracking and get fully back on the wagon. I mean I've lost 84 lbs surely I can kick butt and lose these last pesky 13lbs!!

"you haven't failed until you quit trying" and I sure as hell haven't given up yet!!!

Love as always
xxxxxx

No one said it would be easy

On twitter the other day I was having a conversation when someone said " you can't undo a lifetime of self image over night" This is completely true. When I look in the mirror I still see that almost 17st body, rather than the 11st one I have, and the one I've worked damn hard for. But it's so easy to forget where you've come from and focus to much on where you have to go.

If I'm honest I've been plateauing for about 6 months, I've cancelled my weightwatchers membership and changed to myfitnesspal in the hope a shake up would help, it did but now I'm struggling with that, I'm running, but not as much as I should do ( I mean it takes me a good hour to convince myself to go!!) but the biggest issue is my head is not in the game right now. And I'm worried I'm slipping back into bad habits.

I haven't put on any weight I've remained between 11st 2lbs - 11st 4lbs. But I *feel* bigger. How do you go from losing almost 6 stone and then lose all motivation? I mean I can do it and this is only a blip but sometimes I think maybe I'm not destined to get to goal?

Thinking a kick up the ass is just what I need - so if any of you have a magic wand or a very strong right kick that would be fabulous!

Much love
Elle
xxx

Accountability.

Happy New Year to you all!
Hope you all had a lovely time celebrating whatever you were doing.

Not only am I looking forward to getting to goal in 2013, but I'm looking forward to changing my body, toning up, becoming strong and running more half marathons.

So here's my accountability post. My starting point for 2013.

My weight today is 11st 4lbs. So putting me about 14lbs away from goal. 

My measurements:

 legs - 22 inches 

   waist - 30 inches

hips - 39 inches

arms - 11 inches

dress size - 12

I'm looking forward to progressing with my running, and doing my Jillian Michaels DVD's. I've started the 30 day shred and am only on day 4 but can already feel the difference. 

I may not like what I see in the photo but I know it's a hell of a lot better than this: 

So after 3 weeks of not tracking, tomorrow is back on track food & running wise. 2013 is going to be about focusing on myself :) 

Love as always 

Elle xxx