I'm actually quite happy at the moment

Lately I've realised I have pretty amazing friends around me and amazing family who are always there, along with this I'm starting to feel happy in myself. I'm proud of what I've achieved so far, not just with WW but with general life, getting A Levels, and getting to University.

But along the WW route I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin, the girl who's been hidden for years is finally starting to emerge, I know I have a long way to go, but I have no doubt I'll get there, and I cannot actually wait for the day I get to goal and see that number on the scales, I think this thought is what keeps me going sometimes. It's not all about the numbers though and that is what I've realised, I'm a more healthy person, I mean I'm doing a 10k run in 2 weeks, so I won't run all of it but I'm aiming to run a good chunk of it... 6 months I wouldn't have even considered doing that!

This week has been a pretty good week for WW, I've eaten well (apart from the 2 slices of dominoes after a night out last night) and stayed within my points every day. I've also earned a fair number of BP's I've walked to Uni twice which is 3.4 miles each, have been to the gym and tonight me and my friend went to "aqua fit" we felt a bit stupid because we were new but it was actually really fun! Planning to go again on Sunday!

Uni's started back and I probably sound like a right little geek but I'm actually really enjoying it, and looking forward to this year - some of my modules are topics that really interest me, and I'm looking forward to getting to know more. Scary thing is Lecturers are starting to talk about my dissertation! EEK!

BUT, there's always a but! Sometime I just feel a bit lonely by myself, I've had my fair share of shit with guys, and I always thought being in a relationship was the be all and end all. However, I've realised recently it's not, I should learn to be happy with myself and by myself first before any relationship will work... I just need to keep telling myself this sometimes!! Apart from these little blips of loneliness I am loving life at the moment!

:)

It's been a while, but I am most definitely back

So everything was going so well, and then it all went wrong. How? I have no idea, I'd lost all motivation and ambition I had, was ready to throw in the towel, which we all know would have ended in me putting the 27lbs back on that I have lost so far. This last month has been a tough on in terms of WW, with a 2.5lbs gain, I couldn't seem to find my routine again to loose it or WANT to loose it. At one time I remember thinking I didn't want to be doing this any more, life would be so much easier if I went back to the way it was. But would it really? No it would, what is life without challenges?...We have to over come these hurdles to make us stronger. I'm glad to say I've got over this little BLIP and am very much back on form... for now!!

I am back at uni, and it has just been freshers week, I stocked up on WW Wine (which is quite disgusting - but not too bad with diet lemonade) I believe this was my saviour! I tried to point as much as I could, and I think the dancing had a benefit as well! I re-joined the gym, although hadn't managed to go until today, due to having to have an induction - and the fact I was pretty much hungover or drunk last week I wouldn't have been in a fit state!

And the result of WI tonight... THREE AND A HALF LBS OFF! How did I do that? I honestly have no freaking idea, but if I did, I think it could make me quite rich! It was definately what I needed, at the right time! I am now under the next stone bracket, so have lost a point of my daily allowance and I'm now in the 14's... still a long way to go... but my little goals are getting me there. I have the motivation I did back on the 17th May when I joined. I am currently 1lb off loosing my stone, and I'm hoping I will do that this week!

Uni is going great too, only my first day back so far, but I'm weirdly enjoying 2nd year... strange! I plan to actually do some work this year seen as it counts!

I'm hoping to be blogging a lot more now I'm 100% back, as it helps me an enormous amount... even if I am just rambling on to myself!

xxxx

p.s I have currently lost the weight of a koala bear!

Day 19

Day 19 - Nicknames you have and why

Smellinor - I'm not quite sure where this came from but everyone at home & at uni seems to have picked up on it and it's just stuck!

That's probably about the only one!

Despite not wanting to know at WI tonight - I lost half a pound! Which is good, considering I have only been back on track 2 days!

xxx

Day 18

Day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

To be able to say NO!

Be successful in my career - what ever that is I don't know. I change my mind to often!

To get to goal before I go to America.

Have children (in the very distant future!!)

Stay on track when I'm back in the uni routine.

Complete my 10k run.

Pass my degree!

I missed this yesterday so will blog properly later & today's challenge

xxx

I'm back

Yes I am 100 % back on track! My mind set has changed, I have motivation again!

I am currently in the process of making meal and exercise plans for the week, and also little goals and little rewards for when I reach them! I have also decided at WI on Monday I will get weighed but I don't want to know the results, as I think it will be another gain.

I plan on walking to and from work tomorrow - which is about 40 minutes each way, I am then joining the gym again on Monday and will get back into my running as my 10k run is only 5 weeks away!! I am loving my motivation.

I have also realised I need routine and plans in my life, and this will be key to my weight loss!

LOVING THIS MOTIVATION.

Blog Challenge -

OK so I missed day 16(yesterday) which was " Another photo of yourself"

So it is at the top, as per usual, because I can't move it!

This photo is of me last month, and although I have about 3 chins, I love it as I just look so happy and I can see around my neck that I have lost weight here. :)

Day 17 -Someone you would want to switch lives with for a day and why.

This is quite a hard one, I don't really know... I thought about a fly.. just so I could see what people get up to behind closed doors, and then I thought about a "skinny person" just to see what it feels like.. but I don't need to as one day in the near future I will be a "skinny person"... So I have come to a conclusion I would want to swop places with The President.. I'm not really that interesting in politics.. mainly because I don't understand them, but I figured it would be quite cool!!!

Close to giving up

My mind set seems to have gone, I'm not motivated any more. I WANT to be , I NEED to be, I mean i love loosing weight, but this 2.5lb gain has really hit me hard...I need a loss to spur me on.. get me back into running.B

ut at the moment I'm slipping back into bad habits. I don't want to be back at that weight I was when I started. I don't want to put on those 26 lbs...I was a ridiculous 16st 12.5 lbs when I started, and that's the first time I've admitted that because I am so ashamed of it. I don't want to be back there, I can't my health is suffering and not just my appearance. I want to loose more than the 26lbs.. I have a hell of a long way to go. I need help to get back on track :( :( :(

It was only a couple of days ago I was writting that it is all psychological, staying on track, eating healthily... then why on earth can't I put this into practise:( The bad bit of my brain is winning right now....I need the healthy bit to... I mean I do actually enjoy healthy food, and cooking but why isn't it making me happy at the minute?

I NEED routine and plans back in my life. Hopefully when I move back to Uni on Saturday I'll be able to.. away from temptation of lush home cooked food.... biscuits in the cupboard(because I won't buy them...) I sure hope this is the case:(

I want a hug :(

Day 15 - Put your ipod on shuffle and the first 10 songs that play

1.Bust your windows - Glee Cast

2.Haven't met you yet - Micahel Buble

3.Playing with fire - N Dubz

4.Dumb - Alexandra Burke

5.I need you now -Agnes

6. It's Over - Alexandra Burke

7. Love Machine - Girls Aloud.

8. Take a bow - Glee Cast

9.Sweet Dreams - Beyonce ( HAHA to people who know me and see this ;) )

10. The Difference - Westlife

I love Bristol & my family

I can't actually wait for everyone to move back in properly now, just the banter, uni life and the amazing friends I have! Although I do miss the home girlies a hell of a lot! EEEKK only a week to go till everyone is back:) Happy days!

100% back on track with WW... despite the 2 bottles of wine consumed tonight.... not totally by myself mind!!!

Day 14- A picture of you and your family.

This photo was taken last month, it was my grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary, and the whole family was there. It was lovely to see them all as we don't often get together much, and especially since I've moved to Uni I don't see them as much as I would like. This photo also cracks me up as me and my brother are mid laughing fit at each other!!!! Love you lots!

It's all Psychological...

Ok I'm not just saying this because I study psychology, but eating healthily and staying on track is all in your head. Today I have been so focused and it's because I told myself to stay on track, and also I actually ENJOY healthy food...rabbit food.. salad all that, it's actually quite nice!! Should be quite simple.... lets see how long this lasts then!!

Day 13 -A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

I don't really know where to start this...

We both know how we feel about each other but yet we always end up back here both being hurt. I could call you every name under the sun because I " hate" you... I don't hate you.... the complete opposite of that I love you, and that's what hurts the most. You used to love me, and I don't know if you do any more... but we always seem to hurt each other, thinking the other one wants to purposely.

The amount of time I've spent crying for you is not worth thinking about, it's too long. I wish I knew why we never work and how I always end up getting this hurt, you don't know how much you've hurt me this time. Messing me around this much hurt a lot... I know I've messed you around in the passed and maybe it hurt a lot but I can't honestly think it could have hurt as much as this. If it did, I'm sorry.

Everyone tells me to move on, that I'm just going to get hurt, every time I want to prove them wrong, but you always go and prove them right.

No matter how lonely or drunk I get I can't go back there again. I've finally realised that I will always love you and have some sort of feelings for you, but we won't ever work together, whether you want to work at our friendship is completely in your hands now, I've given my all and tried my best, just to have it thrown back in my face most of the time.....

xx

Wow, writting that was a bit emotional, but in a good way. It's time to move forward.

"Can't be bothered isn't going to get me anywhere!!!"

Ok so I've had a bad week and haven't tracked or done much exercise... but I put on 2.5lbs!!!!!! I was NOT expecting that when I got on the scales. I need a big kick up the behind, I literally had to drag myself to the gym after WW. Where has all my determination gone? Don't get me wrong... I still want to do this, but it seems like so much more of an effort now than to when I started back in May.... Maybe a week back on track will cure that!!

Day 12 - How you found out about blogger and why you have one.

So a fellow weightwatcher started a blog about her weight loss, I was reading and thought it would be a good way to follow me weight loss... so here we are.

MY LEGS HURT :(

So having not run for a couple of day, I went today and did 3.5k seen as I realised my 10k run is in SIX, yes SIX weeks. That really isn't long at all. UH OH! I also realised a lot of running further is psychological. I had planned to do 5k, I told myself I couldn't but I would push myself and do 4k, I am then comfortable around the 3/3.5k mark and that is what I did. This is nor going to help my training at all!! So tomorrow I WILL PUSH MYSELF!!!

Day 11- Another photo of you and your friends.

Ok so the photo's are STILL at the top of the page because I need a technology geek to come and explain it to me how to move them!

This photo was taken on Wednesday, which was such a good night - a lot of alcohol was consumed and that was even before we got on the bus to go to Cardiff! My friend from Uni was down which was great for her to meet all the girls and Rach had her friend from Luff down so was a lovely night!!

Day 10

Day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

When I'm sad it has to be a bit of Westlife - What about now. Or Miley Cyrus - The Climb.

Bored - it's a bit of anything from Taylor Swift, to Eminem to Whitney Houston.

Happy - A bit of Glee gets me in an even better mood, or JLS, Jason Derulo.

Mad- I'm usually made at someone I love, so I put on the love songs, which just make the situation worse really!

I had my Camp America Interview today and it went really well:) soo supperrr excited about that! But I have to wait till like november/december to find out if I have a place. Really hoping I have as it will be amazing!

Attempted to get back on track today... was going really well until I came across the apple danish in my car from yesterday.... I'm still in points for the day, but not expecting a loss this week, hopefully a STS.. 1lb gain at most....

xxxx

Day 9

Day 9 - Something your proud of in the last few days...

Reaching my 10% goal. OK it's not in the last few days, it was last week but I am still incredibly proud of myself for it.It took me 12 weeks and 25.5lbs later I reached it. I still have a long way to go, but these little goals are what keep me going! Next one is 15%! :)

xxx

I am ridiculously hungover!!!

After an incredibly drunken but amazing night I have spent this beautifully sunny day in bed recovering!! The hangover is definitely worth it, loosing my shoes and picking glass out of my feet this morning - well that's debatable! I also haven't given in to hangover munchies either which I am very proud of. We are all going for a harvester later, but oh well!

I should really learn that when I am drunk I should let my emotions get the better of me & should also not be allowed a phone, as it results in my telling the person I love, that I love them even though were over. Good One there!

Day 8 - Short term goals for this month & why.

I'd like to loose 2lbs, I know this is possible and I would then have reached the 2st mark. After that 2 lbs I'd like to loose another 7lbs to get my next silver 7. I am sure these are totally possible - as long as I don't over indulge in Freshers's Week!!I also want to increase my running, and stick to my plan as my 10k run is coming up very soon and I'll actually collapse on the way around if I don't get my act together. I also want to sort out my finances and stop going shopping when I have no money and start saving!

SO EXCITED!

I am literally dancing around the house with excitement, my friend from uni is coming down to stay and a couple of my other friends have their friends down from uni and were all going for a night out in Cardiff and I cannot wait! EEEKK! Only 7 hours till I pick her up!!

I'm a bit late with my blog challenge as day 6 was my favourite super hero. I don't really have one, so I'm just going to leave that out!

Day 7 - a picture of someone/something that has had a big impact on you.

Again the picture is at the top of the page because I STILL cannot move it! It is a picture of me and my mum. Sounds totally cheesy but my mum is such an inspiration and has had a big impact on me, and made me who I am today and I thank her for it! She has had her fair share of upset in life and has come out stronger on the other side and used her experiences to help others. She always puts everyone before herself and never does anything for herself bless her. She works so hard for everything she has achieved and even having knock backs in life it doesn't seem to put her off. Mum I Love You :) xxx