Thursday, 9 September 2010

Close to giving up

My mind set seems to have gone, I'm not motivated any more. I WANT to be , I NEED to be, I mean i love loosing weight, but this 2.5lb gain has really hit me hard...I need a loss to spur me on.. get me back into running.B
ut at the moment I'm slipping back into bad habits. I don't want to be back at that weight I was when I started. I don't want to put on those 26 lbs...I was a ridiculous 16st 12.5 lbs when I started, and that's the first time I've admitted that because I am so ashamed of it. I don't want to be back there, I can't my health is suffering and not just my appearance. I want to loose more than the 26lbs.. I have a hell of a long way to go. I need help to get back on track :( :( :(

It was only a couple of days ago I was writting that it is all psychological, staying on track, eating healthily... then why on earth can't I put this into practise:( The bad bit of my brain is winning right now....I need the healthy bit to... I mean I do actually enjoy healthy food, and cooking but why isn't it making me happy at the minute?

I NEED routine and plans back in my life. Hopefully when I move back to Uni on Saturday I'll be able to.. away from temptation of lush home cooked food.... biscuits in the cupboard(because I won't buy them...) I sure hope this is the case:(

I want a hug :(

Day 15 - Put your ipod on shuffle and the first 10 songs that play

1.Bust your windows - Glee Cast
2.Haven't met you yet - Micahel Buble
3.Playing with fire - N Dubz
4.Dumb - Alexandra Burke
5.I need you now -Agnes
6. It's Over - Alexandra Burke
7. Love Machine - Girls Aloud.
8. Take a bow - Glee Cast
9.Sweet Dreams - Beyonce ( HAHA to people who know me and see this ;) )
10. The Difference - Westlife

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